


Excuse my French

by MASD_1138



Series: Christmas 2018 [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Party, Excuse my French, F/M, I did this for a dare with one of my friend, I've included a translation, Implied Sexual Content, at the end, lawyer!poe, no literally this has French and I'm asking for forgivness, reylo but it's hella one-sided, stupid use of French, this is the dumbest thing I've ever written, wow still really bad at tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 19:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MASD_1138/pseuds/MASD_1138
Summary: When Rey’s ex Ben shows up at the office party to try to win her back for the fiftieth time, Rey finally knows how to shut him up for good.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly the dumbest thing I’ve ever written in my entire life. I didn’t even know if I was going to publish this, but my friend was laughing her ass off since it’s so stupid and she kept insisting that do. This is super stupid, but I had fun so here it is: My stupid Damerey French fic. (Translation of the speech will be included in the end notes, please don’t hate me for this I had way too much fun)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly the dumbest thing I’ve ever written in my entire life. I didn’t even know if I was going to publish this, but my friend was laughing her ass off since it’s so stupid and she kept insisting that do. This is super stupid, but I had fun so here it is: My stupid Damerey French fic. (Translation of the speech will be included in the end notes, please don’t hate me for this I had way too much fun)

Christmas parties are not her thing. There’s always too many people crammed into a small space. You get introduced to new people and instantly forget their name. The eggnog always gets spiked and for some reason you always come home with tinsel or glitter stuck on you. 

Yet, there she is, sitting on the edge of a couch with a mug of (spiked) eggnog. The only reason that Rey is attending this one is because her sweet boyfriend, the one that she loves more than air, loves these events so much. He’s standing in the corner of the room and is speaking with one of his work colleagues, Kaydel. Poe is probably the most festive she has ever met. As soon as Thanksgiving is over, he puts the Christmas decoration all over their apartment. He has an ugly Christmas sweater for everyday from the first December to the 25th and he wears all of them (except for when he’s with a client or in court). The one he’s wearing today is less on the ugly side and more on the obnoxious spectrum. It’s one that has Rudolph on the front and his red nose actually lights on.  
Rey doesn’t hate Christmas, actually she loves it. However, she prefers her holidays when the are on the smaller scale and only includes close friends and family. Spending her day on the couch all bundled up in thick blankets while watching Hallmark movies with Poe is one of her favourite things ever. That and watching Poe cook the Christmas feast while she pretends to be helping. 

Finn, who is sitting beside her on the couch, asks her a question and flies completely over her head. He smirks when he looks over at what or more who she’s starring at.

“Earth to Rey-Rey. Do you copy?” Finn teases her and pokes her softly in the ribs. 

“What?” Rey snaps out of her starring contest with Rudolph the red nosed sweater and looks back at Finn. “Did you ask me something?”

“Yeah, I asked you what did you buy Poe this year.”

“I bought him a couple of Christmas ties so that he can still be festive in his suits. I got him a couple of warm sweaters for the rest of winter and a new apron for the kitchen,” Rey answers easily and then she smirks. “I’m also getting him a couple of other things, but I don’t think you want any details about that.”

“You are absolutely right about that Peanut,” Finn laughs, shaking his head. 

Finn tell her about the gifts he bought for his girlfriend, Rose. Suddenly, his expression changes from a soft smile to a frown. Rey looks over her shoulder and immediately groans. Her ex, Ben Solo (or Kylo Ren if he still goes by that) is standing in the doorway to the sitting room. They dated for maybe two and they haven’t been together for at least five years and she’s been with Poe for four of those, but he has never gotten over her and keeps trying to win her back. Rey knows that the only reason he’s even here is that his mom, Leia is the boss of the law firm Poe works at and this is the office party. Well that and Ben is also a lawyer. 

As soon as Ben spots Rey, he walks in her direction. When the people around them also see where he’s going, they all sigh. Ben making a scene at the Christmas party is part of the tradition. Everyone in his family seems to be addicted to being dramatic. Rey stands up from the couch and looks at Poe to tell him that he doesn’t have to intervene yet. Ben stops in front of her, not noticing that everybody has pretty much stopped talking around him. 

“Hello, Rey,” Ben says, ignoring Finn groan beside him.

“Hi Ben.” Rey keeps it short so he doesn’t get the wrong idea that she wants to talk to him.

“So who are you here with?” Rey isn’t a lawyer, she’s an engineer at Luke’s engineering company. So she has to be here with somebody from the office.

“You know I’m here with Poe, Ben. I stopped by the office two days ago to bring him lunch. Let’s not do this again,” Rey says quickly and a bit angrily, hoping he gets the message.

Of course, he doesn’t. “So what are you doing after the party? I heard there’s a good coffee place about ten minutes away that stay open till midnight.”

That’s it, Rey can’t stay calm anymore. She has had enough of his childish behaviour. This man has the audacity to ask her out in front of her boyfriend and his work colleagues. She’s going to put him back in his place once and for all and in a way that he’s going to remember. Rey looks at the small crowd looking at them and winks at Poe before speaking up.

“Excuse my French everybody,” Rey says loudly and she doesn’t miss Ben’s startled look. She knows that they are the only two people in this room who speaks fluent French. Rey is also the only one that knows that the mighty Leia Organa always used to scold he son in French, the second language of her family.

“Ben, là j’en ai assez de tes niaiseries. Tu agis comme un enfant de 8 ans qui se fait dire qu’il ne peut pas avoir son biscuit après le souper. Cela fait combien de fois que je te dis non et de me laisser tranquille? J’ai essayer d’être gentille avec toi et d’être patiente, mais là c’est ma limite. Je ne vais pas revenir avec toi. C’est fini entre nous deux depuis cinq ans et il y a une raison. Tu es égocentrique, enfantin et bien honnêtement, très plate. Il va falloir que tu acceptes que je suis avec Poe. C’est l’homme que je vais marier et avec qui je veux passer le reste de ma vie avec. Tu te fais honte devant tes collègue de travail et ce n’est pas plus plaisant pour Poe. Regarde le dans le coin de la pièce.” Ben looks over his shoulder at Poe who is standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed. Poe gives them a small wave. “Tu vois cela s’appelle de la patience, la chose que tu as aucunement. Alors, je vais te le répéter une dernière fois. C’est fini. Je ne reviendrai jamais à toi. C’est Noël, fait donc une bonne action,” Rey lets out a big breath and stares at him in the eyes, waiting to see if he’ll talk back. And he does.

“Je vais toujours t’aimer-” Ben tries to speak, but Rey cuts him off.

“Et bien pas moi.”

With that last phrase, Ben storms out of the room and everybody ears the front door slam. Poe comes up to her and wraps his arms around her waist. Everybody that was listening in decides that it’s a good time to go back to what they were doing and that the show is over.

“Are you okay?” Poe kisses her cheek.

“I think he may have finally gotten the message so, yes I’m really great. Damn, that felt good. Good old French, I’m glad my uncle forced me to learn it after all.”

“That’s good.” Poe kisses her again and smiles. Rey can already guess what he’s about to ask. “So, what did you tell him?”

“Something along: you act like a child and I need a man in my life.”

“And I’m your man?” He asks with a smirk, knowing the answer.

“Mon homme à moi,” Rey leans in and whispers in his ear.

“How about we leave this party and you teach me a bit of that French?” 

“If you teach me some Spanish, you have a deal.” Rey has a good idea were their night is heading and she’s fully on board.

They hurry and get their coats, leaving an exasperated Finn behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I always used to write that English isn’t my first language, but never what actually is. It’s French! So if any of you writers that read my stuff need to write something in French, hit me up. The translation of the speech will be chapter 2! Thanks for indulging my dumb Idea and I will be back with English soon.


	2. Translation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the translation of what Rey said to Ben. Again, sorry for this dumb thing.

_“Ben, là j’en ai assez de tes niaiseries._  
“Ben, I’ve had enough of your stupidness/attidute (it’s an expression). 

_Tu agis comme un enfant de 8 ans qui se fait dire qu’il ne peut pas avoir son biscuit après le souper._  
You act like an 8 year old child who’s just been told he can’t have a cookie after supper. 

_Cela fait combien de fois que je te dis non et de me laisser tranquille? J’ai essayer d’être gentille avec toi et d’être patiente, mais là c’est ma limite. Je ne vais pas revenir avec toi._  
How many times have I told you no and to leave me alone? I tried to be kind and patient with you, but you have reached my limits. I’m never getting back together with you.

_C’est fini entre nous deux depuis cinq ans et il y a une raison. Tu es égocentrique, enfantin et bien honnêtement, très plate. Il va falloir que tu acceptes que je suis avec Poe._  
It’s been over between us for five years and there is a reason for that. You are egocentric, childish and honestly, boring. You are going to need to accept that I’m with Poe.

_C’est l’homme que je vais marier et avec qui je veux passer le reste de ma vie avec. Tu te fais honte devant tes collègue de travail et ce n’est pas plus plaisant pour Poe. Regarde le dans le coin de la pièce.”_  
He’s the man that I’m going to marry and with who I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are bringing shame upon yourself in front of your colleagues and this isn’t fun at all for Poe. Look at him in the corner of the room.” Ben looks over his shoulder at Poe who is standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed. Poe gives them a small wave. 

_“Tu vois cela s’appelle de la patience, la chose que tu as aucunement. Alors, je vais te le répéter une dernière fois. C’est fini. Je ne reviendrai jamais à toi. C’est Noël, fait donc une bonne action,”_  
“You see, that’s called patience, the thing you don’t have at all. I’m going to repeat it to you for the last time. It’s over. I’m not coming back to you. It’s Christmas, do a good act,” Rey lets out a big breath and stares at him in the eyes, waiting to see if he’ll talk back. And he does.

_“Je vais toujours t’aimer-”_  
“I will always love you-” Ben tries to speak, but Rey cuts him off. 

_“Et bien pas moi.”_  
“Well not me”

 

*** Later when Poe comes over***

“And I’m your man?” He asks with a smirk, knowing the answer.

_“Mon homme à moi,”_ Rey leans in and whispers in his ear.  
“My man,”Rey leans in and whispers in his ear. (But it’s kinda of a more romantic way to say it in French)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I always used to write that English isn’t my first language, but never what actually is. It’s French! So if any of you writers that read my stuff need to write something in French, hit me up. The translation of the speech will be chapter 2! Thanks for indulging my dumb Idea and I will be back with English soon.


End file.
